Seeing the Back of God

"Trauma's storms can mask the Christ and feeling can lie.
I draw all the hurting voices close and I touch their scars with a whisper: sometimes we don't fully see that in Christ, because of Christ, through Christ, He does give us all things good - until we have the perspective of years.
In time, years, dust settles.
In memory, ages, God emerges.
Then when we look back, we see God's back.
Wasn't that too His way with Moses? ... 'I will put you in the cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back'.  Is that it? When it gets dark, it's only because God has tucked me in the cleft of the rock and covered me, protected, with His hand? is in the dark that God is passing by ... dark is the holiest ground, the glory passing by. In the blackest, God is closest, at work, forging His perfect and right will.
Then we look back and see His back."   Ann Voskamp

I read this yesterday and its haunting truth captured me, drilling a path down deep into my being, burrowing into my very essence. and sprouting shoots of light and wonder.
Moses, humble, down-trodden leader of Israel, asked God this one thing - to let him see His glorious presence.
God promised yes but not as Moses thought.  The back of God.  Could that be enough?  And after the terrifying passing of God, Moses, released from the rock's cleft, simply sees God's back, and was forever metamorphosed. 
He had seen God, it's true. His back.  And only after the fact.
Is this not how we too see God?  As we look back, we see He passed.  It is in hindsight where we have confirmed the presence of God, that He was there in our daily life more often without our being aware or seeing Him.   But after His hand is lifted, we see.  Yet even then, we need eyes to see, hearts to understand these God sightings, the God happenings in our lives.  His presence and His glory.
I have at times been covered in the cleft, crying out to see God's glory.  Feeling forgotten, forsaken, abandonned.   When finally I could lift my head, tears still wet, darkness lifting, I too have seen the back of God.  He had indeed passed that way, by that very spot. I too saw his back after He had passed.
God, we ask to show us your glory.  Satisfy us with your back.


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