So undone

Yesterday, today, I am thinking.  After last week with its non-stop busyness, teaching each day and then getting ready to teach again the following day, well, I can honestly say that I just barely made it through.  The fatigue I felt by week's end went beyond the exertion expended in the work.  By Friday night, I simply felt like crying.  Depleted, insecure, unravelling, undone.  On the weekend, I had catching up to do, you know, all those things I didn't have time or energy to do during the week...laundry, house cleaning, menial life chores. But now, I sense the need for another sort of “cleaning house". And it can't be done in haste. So, it's not an exaggeration to say that I'm longing for a different kind of week this week.  

My soul is thirsty.  Is weary.  Is searching.  For you.

Lord Jesus.  Here I am.  At my best, I am a mess.  And right now, is definitely not my best!  But then, you know that only too well.  I cannot do any of this if you are not with me.  If you don't light my path, give me the strength,  then I am done.  I am undone.  So very undone.
I have nothing.  But I come nonetheless.  Nowhere else to go.  No one else to turn to.  No other one truly knows me, my darkness, my messiness, my inconsistency, my weakness and yet still wants me, still sets me on my feet again.   I am undone before such truth.  You are so utterly mystery to me.
I rest.  I wait. I look. I bask.  in you. I quench my thirst.  I am undone again but this time by your love.