Follow Him

Look there at Jesus.
Who do you see?
Messiah,
Friend,
Leader,
Life-changer,
Champion,
God-revealer.
Follow him.

I read these words some time last week.  I do adhere to them.  But somehow when I woke up this morning, it wasn't really what I was feeling or thinking.  You know what I'm talking about. From the second your eyes open, some days just seem harder than others.  Not from lack of sleep or sickness.  Just tougher to take.  This morning was one of those days.  I know that Jesus is all these things and more.  I do want to follow Him.  So why is there still a "but" in my spirit some days? 

So this morning I decided to start my day by doing some laundry - a rather necessary, unglamorous  but therapeutic task for me. I know.  It's crazy!  Lug water into my kitchen.  Pour water into my big basin.  Add soap.  Scrub clothes.  Wring out.  Set aside dirty water for toilet.  Refill basin with clear water to rinse.  Wring.  Carry clothes outside and hang to dry.  A banal activity but one that somehow helped to break the funk that threatened to hold me captive and through this simple task, got me in a frame of mind to actually be ready to listen.  To read.  To follow.  Him. 

Jesus put it this way "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily and follow me."  (Luke 9:23)  Not a once-for-all proposition but a day-by-day exercise. I guess that's why it's so tough some days.  Selfishness is so ingrained and deep rooted it feels normal, justified.  It tries to tells us that since we don't feel like it, we don't have to.  We won't.   But Jesus says to turn away from it.  Renounce it.  Get rid of it.  Fight it.  And keep doing that.  Day after day.  No matter how you're feeling when you wake up in the morning.  Taking up your cross will never be a popular activity.  It won't get positive press.  But it's what it takes to follow Him. It's what it takes every day. If I simply had to follow my own desires and ideas, no cross would be necessary.  But following Him is another story.  He knows all about bearing crosses.  He is the cross-bearer par excellence.

 I realized too that the day doesn't have to end the way it started out.  We can at any point, stop living in Christ-denial and start living the self-denial way.  Sometimes just a little menial task can break our trajectory and open our spirit once again to our main task of following Him.  No way of getting around the cross.  It's all about following Him.  To His cross.  Bearing my cross.  Every day.